How do you cultivate a child into someone who is capable, independent, hard-working, and successful? That is probably one of the top questions most parents have in life, and how they answer this question directly results in different styles of parenting. From the relaxed and flexible parent to the tiger parent, all sorts of parenting styles have their own pros and cons. However, one thing is for certain-- how a parent treats their child will directly impact them later in life.
What is the Best Style of Parenting?
This question is a tricky one, because remember: there is no “correct” or “best” way to educate a child. Children, like parents and humans in general, vary. Their different personalities will contribute to different circumstances. Some who have low self esteem may require their parents to give them a greater confidence boost, and some children who are too arrogant or mean may need to be taught and have boundaries set by their parents. There is a general set of pointers parents should follow regardless, though:
Be Sure to Respect your Child
This seems so simple, yet can be incredibly vague to many parents. Mothers and fathers have a higher authority than their children, and this could lead to unintentional belittling or even treating the children like something lesser. This can be incredibly harmful for the child’s mental and emotional health, especially when they feel like they are not being treated like a human.
Giving your child the basic courtesies you would to any general human being is a must.
Never Wrongly Direct Anger to a Child
A lot of parents will unintentionally reflect their anger or frustrations onto their children. Have you ever had a tough day at work? Or a stressful day in general? One difficult yet important reminder is to never direct all of those negative emotions to your children. Many times, these frustrations can lead to increased verbal abuse or even violence, something that will not help your child develop.
From impatience and mistreatment, the children may become spiteful of their parents, or may start to feel as if they are not “good enough”, which can lead to low self esteem and other mental problems.
Never Put Yourself to a Child’s Standards
Remember, no matter how stressed or angry you are at your child, they are still your children first and foremost. You cannot expect children to have the same matureness or capabilities as an adult would, which means you must be patient and mature.
This means apologizing when you know you are wrong, rather than stubbornly arguing with your children. This will make your child understand you are someone who understands how to apologize, and can create greater respect and a stronger parent-child bond. This also means being patient with your child, and not acting childish like them. You must set a strong role model, even if it means admitting weaknesses.
Set Reasonable Limits
While being understanding and loving your children is always necessary, this does not mean you should spoil your children. Setting limits is a critical way of letting your child know what is “right”, and what is “wrong”. This is another reason why children will sometimes purposefully act in annoying or infuriating ways; they are testing your boundaries. Parents need to make sure that their children cannot do whatever they want in this world, while loving them consistently. Be strict, but be caring.
Love your Child, and Make Sure They Realize it
Make sure your child feels your love. It is always good to tell them that you love them, so that they know you are always there for them. Be sure to let them know that you can be trusted, and will always help them if they need it. Many times, children will misunderstand a parent’s true intentions, which can lead to increased emotional stress and may even lead to a severed parent-child relationship. Spoiling your child a little is good sometimes: taking them on vacations, family trips, restaurants, giving gifts on holidays, and even giving them compliments for great achievements can do so much to your child. Love is a powerful emotion. Use it.
There are many more tips and tricks for parents, but these are 5 important ones all parents should understand. It is incredibly difficult to be perfect and remember, no one is. You are human; it’s okay to make mistakes. But once you make a mistake, own up to it. Improve yourself, teach your child they are human too, and boost them so that they may become successful.